"Surprise, surprise, you don't use birth control."

"Surprise, surprise, you don't use birth control." That may be what goes through the minds of some people who observe families with many children. Although words like that have never been spoken directly to me, I do remember—while growing up in a family of eight children—that adults I respected (including a schoolteacher) would make more nuanced comments like, "Your mom was sayin' 'yes,' when she should've been sayin' 'no.'"

Comments like that really stuck with me and likely contributed to attitudes I held, that there was something very weird about couples who didn't use artificial contraception. Looking back, I realize how utterly disrespectful it was for any responsible adult, much less a public schoolteacher, to speak to me in that way.

Combined with a lack of any education as to why the Catholic Church taught such "radical" ideas as the sinfulness of artificial contraception, these unhealthy attitudes led me, of course, to do what? Misuse and abuse my sexuality, and it didn't stop at using artificial contraception—far from it.

Catholicism gets beat up all the time, and Catholics seem to be the favorite punching bag for just about everyone: A bunch of men get to make decisions about teachings so fundamental to a woman's body. Gasp!

But take a look at what Pope Paul VI predicted in 1968 at the beginning of the sexual revolution about the regular use of birth control, that it:

• Opens the way to the lowering of moral standards for the young as well as leads to marital infidelity;

• Will lead to the lowering of respect for women; husbands will regard their wives as mere instruments to serve their own desires; and

• Will be a dangerous tool in the hands of government or public authorities who care little about the moral law and who may force the use of contraceptives on everyone.

Yeah, those old men don't know anything, huh?

If there really is a war on women, the Catholic Church is the commander in chief of the army that defends women and seeks to restore true dignity to the great mystery of femininity.

Which brings me to Natural Family Planning (NFP) Awareness Week, which is coming to a close. I've wanted to jot down some thoughts about it for days, but every time I sit down, I am at a loss for what to say. 

The moment where the veil was lifted and I started to understand sexuality in light of Christ came without me really looking for it. I had been invited to a conference at church, and Joseph and I decided to check it out. Miles was a few months old, and I had just been to my ob/gyn and had my birth control pills in my purse while I sat through the weekend and heard a powerful truth spoken directly to my heart.

Joseph, always so logical, could see the ends to which this truth would lead. Truer words were never spoken when he uttered, "our lives are about to change forever."

The reason I have been reluctant to share anything about our rejection of contraception and embrace of an NFP mindset is that we don't actually fit the traditional NFP story. We have never taken a class, never seen a chart, and wouldn't know what in the world a thermometer has to do with our fertility.

Ours isn't a strict adherence to law but more of an easy going, constantly mindful state of where we are feeling called at any given time. We pay attention to the natural signs that my amazing body communicates. We use NFP but we don't use NFP. For us, it is more about being open to God's will and surrendering control to him in all matters of our life. We try and cooperate with the Creator.

I can say with confidence that NFP is safe, it works, and it will lead to healthy conversations with your spouse about sexuality. I have always felt treasured by my husband, but even more so as an NFP couple. He doesn't just respect certain parts of me, he respects all of me.

There does seem to be great interest in the topic of contraception. I have overheard people in all kinds of places talking about it. The most recent instance: I took my kids to a public pool last weekend and there was a group of a dozen people in their 30s. They were having a grand time and were pretty loud for me to be able to hear their conversations. Though I wasn't completely tuned in, I couldn't help but hear them talk about birth control!

Since Joseph and I don't strictly adhere to any particular method, I can't speak to what is best for a particular need, but there are many resources popping up left and right. I've included a few of them below. It's not just a religious thing, it's a holistic thing. There are so many reasons to consider NFP in a marriage, many of which are identified along with other interesting facts at these new websites:

I Use NFP!

1 Flesh

Two books that I read during my early days of exploring these ideas:

Good News About Sex & Marriage

Redeeming Love

The above "blog" came from The Rosary Chick

{I DID NOT write this.. however this is 100% of my belief and I believe this was VERY well written!}