Catholic Stance

I didn't write this, but i found it on a friend's wall and thought it pretty much hit the nail on the head. Just because someone is for traditional marrriage, that doesn't mean he or she hates gays. In fact, it means we must love them all the more. Here is the post:

"What 99% of people don't actually understand is the Catholic Church's stances (plural) on these homosexual issues. There is a great...

difference between a person, their orientation, and their actions. The Church has a different stance on each, since each is totally distinct from the others, though interrelated.

HOMOSEXUAL PERSON - must be loved, totally. Made in the image and likeness of God. Cannot be discriminated against whatsoever. God wants every single gay person to be with Him in Heaven forever. A person can't BE a sin. A person can only COMMIT a sin. But it is never sinful to just BE a person. A person is separate from their actions, good or bad (although those actions, good or bad, help form a person into a better or worse person along the way). This truth underlies the old adage, "Hate the sin; love the sinner". A homosexual person is not second-class in any way. They are the same as everyone else in their worth, value, dignity, and must be treated as such. It is not our actions or sexual orientation that give us worth or demands that we be loved. It comes more from Whose we are rather than who we are. Again, God wants every single gay person to be with Him in Heaven forever. He died for them to open up that opportunity.

HOMOSEXUAL ORIENTATION - like hundreds of other desires in the human heart, sexual orientation can be ordered in the wrong way. It can point in the wrong direction. This is not necessarily the fault of a person. The homosexual orientation is a cross to bear, just like the propensity to lust, alcoholism, anger, laziness, etc., and literally hundreds of other desires that get can be off the mark from their original purpose. God didn’t give me this particular cross, but He gave me lots of others to work on. Having to deal with a homosexual orientation is not the WORST desire by any means. It didn’t even make the list of the 7 deadly sins. It is often blown out of proportion, to my dismay. People with this orientation deserve support, compassion, and prayers. We all have our crosses. The Catholic Church doesn’t think we should try to “change” people through some sort of gay counseling. Orientation would be difficult if not impossible to change, but BEHAVIOR can be changed. A gay person can be helped and encouraged to change behavior, but it’s a shame when the media paints this as trying to “convert gays to straights”. Again, orientation is very different than action.

HOMOSEXUAL ACTIONS – Now these, as opposed to homosexual persons and homosexual orientations, are sins. These are actions, so they are willed and done on purpose, so we are responsible for them. They CAN be avoided, whereas the orientation often cannot be. The Church wouldn’t blame someone for something they have no control over. That’s cruel. But the Church would hold us accountable for embracing it, fostering it, and acting on it.

So in summary:

Homosexual persons – not a sin. Loved by God and should be loved by all people.

Homosexual orientation – not a sin, but at the same time not ordered correctly. A great cross to bear. Compassion and support is needed, not hate or condemnation. We all have our crosses.

Homosexual actions – sinful, and should be avoided, just like all the other sins in the world.

I am pro-chicken, anti-intimidation, anti-discrimination, pro-gay (the persons -- I'm pro-ALL persons, actually, even the unborn ones), anti-homosexual behavior (the sexual actions), and pro-traditional marriage.

Keeping marriage 1 man - 1 woman does not discriminate against persons. It discriminates against a type of love - a type of relationship. Right now, any person, regardless of orientation can marry someone of the opposite sex. There is no discrimination there. But of course you say, "Well gay people don't WANT to marry someone of the opposite sex." And you are right. That's why the discrimination isn't against persons, but against certain wants, loves, desires. Desires are not made in the image of God. People are.

So you see, the Catholic Church can walk and chew gum at the same time. It is a sophisticated and nuanced view because there are different elements involved. A person is not an action, nor an orientation. They are all different, and should be treated differently.

The Catholic Church is consistent, nuanced, fair, and loving, even if not all Catholics themselves are. That’s the beauty. Even when a wicked corrupt pope has mistresses and steals money, he never issues a statement that now having mistresses or stealing is okay and morally acceptable. The standard is golden, but the people often fall short. But there is nothing wrong with the standard, just those who fail to live up to it, myself included."

“There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.” ― Venerable Fulton J. Sheen

"Surprise, surprise, you don't use birth control."

"Surprise, surprise, you don't use birth control." That may be what goes through the minds of some people who observe families with many children. Although words like that have never been spoken directly to me, I do remember—while growing up in a family of eight children—that adults I respected (including a schoolteacher) would make more nuanced comments like, "Your mom was sayin' 'yes,' when she should've been sayin' 'no.'"

Comments like that really stuck with me and likely contributed to attitudes I held, that there was something very weird about couples who didn't use artificial contraception. Looking back, I realize how utterly disrespectful it was for any responsible adult, much less a public schoolteacher, to speak to me in that way.

Combined with a lack of any education as to why the Catholic Church taught such "radical" ideas as the sinfulness of artificial contraception, these unhealthy attitudes led me, of course, to do what? Misuse and abuse my sexuality, and it didn't stop at using artificial contraception—far from it.

Catholicism gets beat up all the time, and Catholics seem to be the favorite punching bag for just about everyone: A bunch of men get to make decisions about teachings so fundamental to a woman's body. Gasp!

But take a look at what Pope Paul VI predicted in 1968 at the beginning of the sexual revolution about the regular use of birth control, that it:

• Opens the way to the lowering of moral standards for the young as well as leads to marital infidelity;

• Will lead to the lowering of respect for women; husbands will regard their wives as mere instruments to serve their own desires; and

• Will be a dangerous tool in the hands of government or public authorities who care little about the moral law and who may force the use of contraceptives on everyone.

Yeah, those old men don't know anything, huh?

If there really is a war on women, the Catholic Church is the commander in chief of the army that defends women and seeks to restore true dignity to the great mystery of femininity.

Which brings me to Natural Family Planning (NFP) Awareness Week, which is coming to a close. I've wanted to jot down some thoughts about it for days, but every time I sit down, I am at a loss for what to say. 

The moment where the veil was lifted and I started to understand sexuality in light of Christ came without me really looking for it. I had been invited to a conference at church, and Joseph and I decided to check it out. Miles was a few months old, and I had just been to my ob/gyn and had my birth control pills in my purse while I sat through the weekend and heard a powerful truth spoken directly to my heart.

Joseph, always so logical, could see the ends to which this truth would lead. Truer words were never spoken when he uttered, "our lives are about to change forever."

The reason I have been reluctant to share anything about our rejection of contraception and embrace of an NFP mindset is that we don't actually fit the traditional NFP story. We have never taken a class, never seen a chart, and wouldn't know what in the world a thermometer has to do with our fertility.

Ours isn't a strict adherence to law but more of an easy going, constantly mindful state of where we are feeling called at any given time. We pay attention to the natural signs that my amazing body communicates. We use NFP but we don't use NFP. For us, it is more about being open to God's will and surrendering control to him in all matters of our life. We try and cooperate with the Creator.

I can say with confidence that NFP is safe, it works, and it will lead to healthy conversations with your spouse about sexuality. I have always felt treasured by my husband, but even more so as an NFP couple. He doesn't just respect certain parts of me, he respects all of me.

There does seem to be great interest in the topic of contraception. I have overheard people in all kinds of places talking about it. The most recent instance: I took my kids to a public pool last weekend and there was a group of a dozen people in their 30s. They were having a grand time and were pretty loud for me to be able to hear their conversations. Though I wasn't completely tuned in, I couldn't help but hear them talk about birth control!

Since Joseph and I don't strictly adhere to any particular method, I can't speak to what is best for a particular need, but there are many resources popping up left and right. I've included a few of them below. It's not just a religious thing, it's a holistic thing. There are so many reasons to consider NFP in a marriage, many of which are identified along with other interesting facts at these new websites:

I Use NFP!

1 Flesh

Two books that I read during my early days of exploring these ideas:

Good News About Sex & Marriage

Redeeming Love

The above "blog" came from The Rosary Chick

{I DID NOT write this.. however this is 100% of my belief and I believe this was VERY well written!}